Why Handsome Men Marry Ugly Women

Why Handsome Men Marry Ugly Women( Your Preference vs Your Interest)

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Before you begin, I would like you to know that my research and conclusion is based on observation and group therapy (My Open Diary Int’l_ a group I administrate).

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Now, when you ask a boy what kind of girl he likes or vice versa, he/she tends to bring out a list of many do-s and don’t-s as well as many pros and cons.

Everyone has a prototype of their dream partner in their mind’s eye. Perhaps, you like your girl slim or round, pretty or plain; or you like your boy tall or average height, handsome or plain.

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This is called Preference_ what you prefer or simply put; your type.

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It is very typical of someone to pursue their preference and ignore anything/anyone below it or be  intimidated by anything/anyone above it. But here is the question: how many of us get what we prefer?

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From most daily stories shared on my therapy group, I discovered that most of the time, we don’t usually get what we desire or prefer, rather what get what interests us which in the process changes our preferences.

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Take for instance, a girl who likes tall, dark and calm boys. However, she meets an average height, fair boy whose funny attitude and way of laughter really interests her. But because he is not her ‘type’, she doesn’t want to associate with him. 

But then, because ‘INTERESTS GROWS and PREFERENCE CHANGES’, this girl will, at the end, change her decision about not associating with him. Her preference will be adjusted.

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This, according to some comedians, is why Handsome Men Marry Ugly women. 

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The truth is, where personal interest is concerned, preference takes the back seat. This is why most people will say ‘beauty comes from the inside’. This is because they have seen that most of the preference of man and women is based on their fantasy.

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In reality, their interest is based, primarily, on personality.

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What is the difference between Interest and Preference then?

Interest is stronger. It lasts longer. It can be sustained and built. It envelopes an individual totally. It is difficult to change or suppress. It is defined. Take for example, you can be interested in Football, Writing, Sex, Reading, Movies, Dance, or A particular person or a group.

Preference on the other hand is built on fantasy, experience, taste and society or social acceptance. It is comparative in nature. It is flexible and can be adjusted easily. Take for example, you can prefer Red to Blue, Sweet to Bitter, Hot to Cold, Tall to Short, or even a person or group to another person or group.

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Your interest will always win at the end. But you don’t have to fight it in a bid to keep up to a particular standard set by you or by the people around you.

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The funny thing about preference is that they keep adding up. So if you feel you found the perfect person_ with which you have no interest_ wait till that person reveals a part that you don’t prefer.

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But then preference can be a good thing too. It can create a scale for achievement. This is only when interest is added to it.

For instance, a girl who finally gets the boy of her preference, tall dark and handsome, but finds out he doesn’t like to listen. She has two options of breaking up with him and adding ‘listening’ to her list of preference; or, staying with him and adjusting her preference to meet his incapability.

However, it takes interest to keep up with option B. The good part is she got her standard of ‘tall, dark and handsome’.

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So, if you find yourself being picky, there is no cause for alarm. 

However, don’t judge or be dogmatic about a particular type of person or thing because you prefer another type.

If you go by general knowledge about a particular person or group_ no matter how truthful it may seem_ you may end up not discovering the wonderful aspect of that person or group.

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~

#Temmyphil

©2017

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