If I asked you to describe a man and not just any man but the *ideal man*, *the main man*; ‘The Man’.
How would you describe him?
Please get on this train of imagination with me, would you?
First off, I’d bet you would start with the looks. What does The Man look like to you?
Is he with a nice neat beard or clean shaved, perhaps? Is he wearing nice clothes, probably a suit? His shoes must be polished pretty good, right? Does he possess that confident pose? Does he have that aura of authority around him? Does he has that poker face that doesn’t reveal too much? I bet he looks good, doesn’t he?
Well, now let’s talk about what The Man does. What does The Man do?
I bet he doesn’t talk too much. He does more listening, doesn’t he? He smiles often but doesn’t laugh so much, does he? He has good table manners and etiquette, doesn’t he? He also knows how to start and stir a good conversation without making you feel bored or awkward, doesn’t he? He has a good sense of humor, doesn’t he? He does plan and has back up plans. He is always prepared, isn’t he?
Well, how about what The Man knows?
He sure knows how to treat a lady right, doesn’t he? He should have at least a little knowledge on wine, books, movies among other things to have at least enough to have good taste in them, shouldn’t he? He should know when to talk and when to keep quiet, shouldn’t he? He should know how to take care of himself properly, how to make a lady smile, how to give proper complements to people and how to appease his lady, shouldn’t he?
Well, well, well…
Isn’t The Man just perfect?
We all_ at least some of us_ knows that The Man isn’t real. The only place we could probably find The Man is in a good novel or in an awesome movie, right?
Although, there might be semblances of The Man out there, I assure you there are as real as the sci-fi movies you watch. There are simply, make believe.
I am a writer and I will tell you this: these roles of The Man are simply creations of a sweet imaginations of what the perfect man would be, if he did exist.
The truth is, real life sucks. No one wants to read or watch a reality movie that doesn’t have the bit of fantasy in it. That’s because fantasy is where imagination and creativity lives.
The funny thing about this though, is that society accepts ‘The Man’ as a measurement or rule for measuring how ‘man-ish’ or the ‘Masculinity’ of the male specie. They purposely ignore the unrealistic nature of this measurement in a desire to create The Man out of ‘boys’.
What has been the bad effect of this so far? Well, the answer is simple: pretense. You have probably heard of the pretentious regal or courteous manner of the Old English people or the ‘Office/Court people’.
On the other hand what has been the good effect of this so far?
Well, the answer is also simple: A better man. People who aspire to achieve the perfect path of The Man might not be able to become The Man but on the road to that, they become better people than the chaotic human state of nature.
So am I saying that being The Man, also generally known as The Gentleman, is impossible or pretentious?
Well, it is an embodiment of the popular saying, ‘fake it till you make it’ only this time…you don’t make it. You can only come close enough but as long as you are human, you can’t become The Man.
My message is simple: _
For the guys: you can try to be The Man, but don’t be so hard on yourself when you find yourself lacking in certain ‘The Man’ characteristics. You are as human as they come. There is no point in proving yourself The Man to anyone. Being yourself while getting yourself better is good enough.
For the ladies: If you are searching and hoping for The Man to come, don’t disturb yourself; he isn’t coming…because he doesn’t exist. You can only get a better man, but expect flaws because no one is perfect (neither are you).
For the society: Please don’t judge or pressure someone under the ‘The Man’ rule or measure. You are only going to make a caricature of perfection.
Be a better man. Find or better still, make a better man. No one is perfect. We are all trying.